I know I'll get a lot of guff from everyone about this. Everyone will say, "You're not old!" Well, can I just revel in my version of old?
You know you're over the hill when:
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- Your back goes out, but you stay home.
- You try to starighten out the wrinkles in your socks only to discover you aren't wearing any.
- Happy hour is a nap.
- When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, even though you always hated it.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot.
- It takes twice as long to look half as good.
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour and then realize they were on your head the whole time.
- You have more patience, but actually it's that you don't care anymore.
- You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.
- You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
and my favorite:
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
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