We had FHE tonight because Monday was a CRAZY day and we ran out of time. We sat in Marriage and Family Relations class Sunday and both looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking: FHE lesson idea as we talked about A Shield of Faith and Putting on the Armor of God. So we made the older girls a shield out of cardboard, and covered it with foil and wrote Faith on it. Then we made bean bags and wrote things like, lie, steal, disobey, fight, etc on them and threw them at the girls. The idea was for them to block those things with the shields.
So after we got home from going to get our treat, I sat at the computer hearing Bro. Mo. laughing hysterically. So, into the LR I went and he showed me this:
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying "Screw YOU!"
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
What is really sad and humiliating, is that I do all of these an a very regular basis.
Now, I admit, I would have loved to have been a marriage counselor or a sex therapist; the differences between men and women are so interesting to me. Weird, I know. One of my favorite analogies is of the rooms in a house. Remind me to tell you sometime.
Ok, ok I will tell you now.
If a man's brain were a house, he would have a room devoted to each category in his life: eating, sleeping, working, sex--yadda, yadda, yadda--and all the doors and windows would be closed; therefore, he devotes his time and energy to one thing at a time and the other things do not interfere with whatever he is doing.
Women, on the other hand, have a house with rooms assigned to separate things, but all the doors and windows are open, so that we cannot do one thing without seeing everything else at the same time, thus, intertwining everything else with that thing.
And, just in case you needed more proof that women are all alike (mostly) here is another funny:
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes
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